As I walked up the street to pay the water bill this afternoon, I was ambushed by all kinds of creatures.
First, there were about a million birds swooping down real low between the roof of the water building and the telephone wires across the street behind the old gym. Like swooping dangerously low. A ton of them. I kept ducking and turning in circles to make sure they weren’t going to come down all kamikaze-like and blast me in the head. I have no idea how I escaped being pooped on. Especially me. I am a frequent bird poop victim.
Then from out of nowhere, a very large (as in like mythical-beast-large) bug flies into my hair, buzzing like a chainsaw. I danced around in the middle of the street beating myself about the head until I was seeing stars and was sure that it was gone.
Right about the time I recovered from that along comes a beautiful butterfly that flies directly into my eye. Yes it did. Like it was flying all crazy, kinda like how Woodstock flies, ya know? And at first I was thinking how lovely it was and then I was like “Woah buddy, where are you going all wonky like that?” and then BAM! right in my eye it flew!
This is unbelievable because it is literally like a 3-minute walk from my house to the water company. I’m home safely now and I’m going to try to remain indoors. Good day.