The Un-Mushy Wife or Another Keepin’ It Real Post

Are you one of those wives who can sit down with your hubby and whisper sweet nothings while big red hearts shine in your eyes?

I’m not.  I’m probably the most unromantic, un-mushy wife there ever was.

I love my husband and all, but I just don’t have that gene, I guess.  You know the one that allows you to say things like “Oh honey, you are so strong!  Thank you for opening that jar of pickles for me using your massive biceps!” or “Oh sweetie, thank you for washing my car!  You’re so thoughtful and you looked so handsome while washing it!”

I don’t like mushy cards.  At all.  I much prefer humor.  My husband is about the exact opposite.  He is a very mushy guy.  Without fail, for every occasion, I will get the sweetest, most sentimental card available to him to purchase.  And without fail, from me, he will get the most hilarious card that I can find.

I apologize to him a lot for my un-mushiness.  I want to be, but I just can’t.  I try to imagine myself saying things like “Dearest, you are so wonderful.  I just love you so much and am so glad that we are going to spend the rest of our lives together in wedded bliss.”  and I start laughing!  That’s terrible, right?

However, he knows I’m like this.  He’s known it from the very beginning.  He knows that if I say “Hey!  Thanks for washing my car, it looks awesome!” that it really is just my way of saying “Oh darling!  You’ve washed my automobile and I am forever grateful!”  Ha.

He also knows that if he really wants to impress me, he should always opt for something like a game of ping pong or board games or Horse over at the basketball courts over perfume or jewelry or taking me out to a fancy restaurant.  Maybe I will never grow up and want all of those mature scenarios for our marriage…I don’t know, but I kind of hope that I never get to the point of preferring some material thing over having fun.

And to his credit, he still loves me and continues to tell me so every day, even though I’ve never been good at the mushy stuff.  He’ll always buy me those mushy cards and write mushy things inside them.  And I’ll keep buying him funny cards and writing jokes inside of them and the cycle will continue until we die, I guess.  But that’s our thing.

I once forgot to get him a card.  I was busy with the girls all day and had been to the vet with one of the dogs.  Long story short, I just forgot all about getting him a card.  I ended up running up to the Dollar Store at the last minute and of course, they had nothing even remotely funny.  I ended up buying him a serious card.  And it was awful.  I think it had like a mallard and a pond on the front.  I don’t even remember what it said on the inside, but it was not anywhere close to anything I would ever buy for him.  I remember that he looked at it.  Then he looked at me.  Then he looked at it again. (I think he honestly thought it was some sort of joke and that the card was going to explode in his hands or something.)  And he never said a word to me about the card, although I know that he had figured out that I’d bought it at the last minute.  He thanked me and kissed me and told me he loved it, just like he would have if it had been one of my usual cards.

That is a good memory.  Thank you, honey, for being so sweet when I didn’t really deserve it.

And that’s about as mushy as I get people!  Good day!


7 thoughts on “The Un-Mushy Wife or Another Keepin’ It Real Post

  1. Christy July 23, 2010 at 2:36 pm Reply

    Hahaha!! Thanks for the laugh!! When you first mentioned running to the Dollar General to get a card, I had images of mallards and ponds in my mind before you mentioned that’s the one you bought!! Haha!! Anyone can have the “mushiness” but it takes true love to truly enjoy being with each other and having fun!! BTW…a few weeks ago we had our 19th anniversary and my husband bought me the best card ever…it has an old couple on the front, probably in their 90’s (it looks like one of those old fashioned pics, neither one of them have teeth, he has a long beard she has long hair up in a bun with a long skirt on) and they’re wearing T-shirts. Hers has an arrow pointing to him and says, “I’m with Loverboy”…and his points to her and says “I’m with Hotstuff”!!! I laughed and laughed! I still laugh every time I see it! 🙂

  2. heathermiller July 23, 2010 at 2:44 pm Reply

    I think we must be kindred souls or something Amee! Ditto on the mushy-ness. YUK!

  3. Averyl July 23, 2010 at 5:10 pm Reply

    ha, this is cute. I also dislike mushy cards!

  4. prairiehomemaker July 24, 2010 at 1:32 am Reply

    Love means not having to be mushy!

  5. Jen July 24, 2010 at 1:15 pm Reply

    Sounds like it works well for both of you!

  6. Becky July 27, 2010 at 8:27 pm Reply

    We couldn’t be more alike and neither could our husbands. He buys mushy, I buy humor.
    I think we were seperated at birth. Well, give or take a few years. LOL

    • klutzymama July 27, 2010 at 8:36 pm Reply

      Agreed! You are definitely my long lost sister. 🙂

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