Feelin’ Like A “Butt”

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my parenting style.  I don’t know that I really even like that term.  That’s a little too yuppy-ish for my taste.  I think I’d rather like to say “raising my younguns”.  Yeah.  That feels better.

Anyway, I’ve been thinking about it.  I’m a fairly laid back parent on most issues.  However, I may be a little anal on other ones.  For example:  my kids are allowed to watch TV, eat candy, and get dirty pretty much at will.  BUT they are not allowed to go places alone without an adult.  Namely to the park or library.  Which would be the 2 places they would want to go by themselves if I’d let them.  They are also not allowed to watch movies that are above a PG rating.

Overall, I’m a lot more laid back than Brian.  He doesn’t really love the getting dirty part at all.  To me, I just think “…meh, it’ll wash” when I see them covered in dirt and grass stains.  He is very neat and clean at all times, so he cringes when they come strolling in with mud on their feet.  There’s a word for those differences that my husband and I have.  It’s called annoying balance.

A little girl at Hannah’s preschool scolded me today for allowing Hannah to say “butt”.  She actually said to me, “You shouldn’t let Hannah say butt, it’s a bad word.  You really shouldn’t allow her to do that.”  Ha!  What do you say to that?!?  Well here’s what I said “Honey, we don’t really think it’s all that bad, but if your mama tells you it is, then you definitely shouldn’t say it.”
Apparently Hannah fell and said “I landed on my butt!”

Okay, so it’s not the most lady-like word on the planet, but I mean, in the grand scheme of it all, I don’t really feel that me allowing my kids to refer to their rears as their “butts” is really going to cause any long term damage.  And me and my girls aren’t exactly of the most lady-like persuasion anyway.  Ya feelin’ me?  I mean we have had lengthy conversations on things like poop, puke, guts and the consistency of brains, so “butt” doesn’t exactly even land on the radar of impropriety in our house.   And because of the fact that I actually say “butt” at least 15 or 20 times a day, generally speaking, I just don’t feel like it’s something that I can really demand that they never utter.  Unless they are in the presence of my mamaw.  We respectfully refrain from using it in her presence.  We say bottom instead.  🙂

There is this abundance of over-parenting going on today.  It makes me cringe.  I see why it’s happening.  We live in a crazy world, for sure.  And I think we all want to protect and shield our kids as much as possible from all the craziness, but the world has always been crazy.  Micro-managing our kids is not going to change any of that.  I’m not saying that little girl’s mama is micro-manager, I don’t know her well enough to make that kind of a statement, but I just think it’s so funny that there are little 5 year-olds out there that feel empowered enough to correct an adult.  Maybe it’s just me.  Does anyone else think that’s odd?  We all know that kids just tell it like it is without holding anything back, so maybe that’s all it was.

At the other end of the spectrum is the parent who could care less.  And that’s not good either.  Me, I’d like to be shooting for somewhere right in the middle.  I want to try to give my kids the freedom to be kids while at the same time being present enough for them to know that I love them and care about how they feel.  I think that there is a lot of good to be said about just being in the middle sometimes.  I hope that I’m doing that for them.

I have a cute story that is a good example.  I recently went over to my cousin’s house for an evening. She’s got 3 adorable kids.  Two of which are close enough to my girls’ ages for it to be fun for them all.  So, my cousin and I are busy in the kitchen making tortillas and the kids are pretty much just running wild.  Well, as wild as they can in a fenced in backyard, anyway.  It was probably somewhere between 50 & 60 degrees out, so the kids were kinda running in and out playing.  All of a sudden, in comes my cousin’s daughter, she’s not quite 2, and she’s wearing nothing but her panties, which are on backward, and her tennis shoes.  And she’s just strutting through the house, her little “butt” cheeks hanging out the back of her panties and she’s on top of the world.  We got such a kick out of that and laughed so hard!  But the thing I loved the most about it was that my cousin didn’t freak out and whisk her little girl off into another room to discipline or scold her.  She just rolled with it.  And that to me was a perfect example of some great parenting in action. Do we want our kids walking around naked in a public restaurant?  No.  But is it a big deal for a little girl to act goofy with her cousins on a night when we’re just hanging out and chillin’ with the family?  Absolutely not.  And yes, I do believe it is possible to teach them the difference between the two.

(By the way, my cousin is a great mama and I in no way wish to imply otherwise.  I’m pretty sure that her children wear clothing whenever it is mandated.)  😉

So, in conclusion, I’m sorry that my return from my semi-retirement from blogging had to be a soapbox post, but what the little girl said to me today kinda burned my butt a little.  Ha!  Sorry, couldn’t resist.

Now, back to semi-retirement I go.  🙂


7 thoughts on “Feelin’ Like A “Butt”

  1. mel April 10, 2010 at 2:51 am Reply

    LOL doncha love how folks decide they can impose their issues on you?
    BTDT with a few little ones myself.

    My son once decided to strip and streak around the back yard. He was 3 and we lived on a short hill looking down into yards on 3 sides, and a chain link fence. To make it worse, he was singing at the top of his lungs, Jesus loves me… Little heathen.

    Sometimes kids will be kids. Sometimes it is important to stop the being a kid. Sometimes it is something they need to do. I mean if they are hurting others or breaking things, stop it. If they are singing and being silly, let them go.

    hugs sweetie. I miss you, soap box or not it was good to see you again

  2. Becky April 10, 2010 at 12:50 pm Reply

    I’m with ya on this one!
    Just as long as we teach them the difference between public behavior and home behavior.
    Just like I had to teach my son that at daycare he had to go to the bathroom to pee and not pull his pants down when he’s outside like he does on the farm. tee hee

  3. Lil April 13, 2010 at 4:23 pm Reply

    There are worst things that could be said beside butt. Its not even like she was calling someone a butt or butthead for that matter. LOL

    I am an in the middle kind of parent. Kids need to be kids to be free to have fun and play. They can worry about all the other stuff when they grow up to be boring ol’ adults.

    • klutzymama April 13, 2010 at 4:33 pm Reply

      Ha ha! No doubt, Lil!

  4. Kristi Smith April 14, 2010 at 2:56 pm Reply

    Okay, I know this is shocking, but I did not allow Cole to say butt when he was little, but I did at some age, who knows when. I am pretty over protective which is shocking to a lot of people because I am so over the top myself. Maybe that is why . . . I don’t want him to be like me. 🙂

    I rarely let him watch PG-13 movies and he will be 13 this month, just depends on the movie.

    I do think I have done him a disservice in a lot of ways, I have over protected him. I think I have made him scared of things. But I did what I thought was best at the time, I just don’t want anything bad to ever happen to him. And I know at some point, I have to let go. 😦

    And I didn’t like him to play in dirt. lol

    • klutzymama April 14, 2010 at 3:46 pm Reply

      You know Kristi, I totally understand what you are saying about not ever wanting them to have anything bad happen to them. I feel the same way. I should have stated in my post, that I don’t think there’s anything wrong with parents that don’t allow their kids to say certain words. I was more taken aback at the little girl feeling that it was okay to correct an adult. When I was a kid, I would have been scared to death to say something like that to a grownup and if I had, my parents would have beat my “butt” for it! 🙂

  5. Jen April 14, 2010 at 9:07 pm Reply

    Middle is a good place to be. It’s when the pendulum swings too far in either direction that the problems begin, I think. It NEVER would have occured to me to speak to an adult like that. I think you handled it beautifully. Nice to hear from you and your soap box.

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