My sister, Tana, invited me and my BFF, Vicki, over Friday night for a slumber party. Just the 3 of us. We had a blast. I love slumber parties!
My sister picked me up and we made a road trip out to pick up Vicki. We grabbed some Taco Bell then headed back to Hope for our night of fun and frivolity.
We immediately set into action a mischievous plan. My sister lives right next door to the Spinster, so we decided to mess with her. We weren’t sure that she would be home because she’s usually jaunting off with her friends on the weekends. But we were lucky. She was home. And totally unsuspecting.
So, the first thing we had to do was get our camo on. You can’t go sneaking out into the night without camo.
Next thing you gotta do is devise a precise plan. So, I sketched this very intricate and detailed mission out for us on a paper towel.
Just look at the attention to detail! We had to burn it immediately…no telling what would happen if that fell into the wrong hands. It was a matter of national security.
She’s an editor and she works from home. She had a deadline looming, so we were in luck. We peeked in the windows and found her right where we wanted her, in her chair working on her laptop.
We waited for the dark of night to surround us and then we went in for the kill.
So, our first plan of attack was to throw pebbles at the window in the living room where she was sitting and then book it back around to the back side of her garage. My sister launched the pebbles and then we were off like a rocket to the back of the garage. By the time we made it back there, we were all falling over with laughter. We weren’t sure if the pebbles were loud enough to really scare her, but her dog Wiley was on to us from the get-go and he was barking his ever lovin’ head off.
Once we accomplished the first stage, we moved on. The next move was to sneak around the side of the garage to where her jeep was parked. Tana sneaked in through the passenger side and just laid on the horn. For like 10 seconds! Vicki and I didn’t even wait for her this time, we were outta there! We ran back behind the garage again. That horn was SOOO LOUD!!! I’m laughing so hard I literally cannot breathe because the whole time we’re running, Vicki is yelling “I’m peeing! I’m peeing my pants!” And she really was, people.
I don’t know that I’ve ever laughed so hard in my life. Seriously. And I’ve laughed pretty hard in my life.
We were a little dismayed that we hadn’t drawn her out of the house at this point, so we went back around to that first window and peeked in. Wiley was going nuts barking and she was still just sitting there in her chair! What was with this spinster?! Is she going deaf in her old age or what?
So, we decide to try the window again. This time we decide to just flat out bang on it. And that’s when I saw it. A quick little look out of the corner of her eyes. She was totally on to us.
This was the look on her face.
Not exactly scared out of her mind, eh? I knew that she wasn’t buying it. She knew someone was messing with her.
At this point, I just called an audible and said “ATTACK!!” and we ran to the front door, or at least I thought we did. Turns out Vicki and Tana didn’t hear me or were too far behind me, so when I jumped in front of the open door and screamed, there wasn’t anyone with me for about 2 seconds. Then they came running and screaming and slammed into me so hard that my face was mushed up against the screen door.
And what was the result of all of this carefully planned and well thought out effort? Did we scare the spinster straight into an early grave? No. I was so hoping to get this reaction out of her:
But no such luck, however, it was kind of you Spinster, to act out that scared-beyond-the-limits-of-your-sanity-face for me. We were a little too hasty in our attack. She said if we would have kept at it a little longer, she might have gotten scared, but it turns out that she actually thought it was my sister’s kids messing with her.
Oh well, it was one of the funnest nights I’ve had in a long time.
After messing with the Spinster, we went back to Tana’s house and played some games.
Then we settled in to watch a scary movie. And boy was it scary! Tana was so scared that she begged us to sleep with her, so we all piled in like sardines into her bed around 3 AM.
Thank you, Sister for inviting us over. It was so so so much fun! Can’t wait to do it again!
I love not having to ever grow up. 🙂