A wise old Spinster recently said to me, “Klutzy Mama plus bad foot equals big time trouble.”
Truer words were never spoken.
Just yesterday there were 4 mishaps involving my foot. All of them painful.
Well one of them actually ended up only being a close call. Close enough to almost make me pee down my leg. I was walking Katie into Girl Scout’s last night when this little girl comes tearing around the corner. Running at me full speed, but looking behind her and not in front where she could have seen the woman in the bionic boot hobbling toward her with a look of sheer terror in her eyes. That’s when it all started to go in slow motion. I can see it happening, but I’m helpless to avoid it. I tried to maneuver myself over to the side, but there was no time! The little girl’s mom yells at her, “Leeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!” and at the last second, she sees me and darts off to the side. “Oh Mother of Pearl!” escapes from my trembling lips. Her mother and I exchanged a knowing look of relief. I thought maybe my luck was changing.
And I was wrong.
Hannah was running into the kitchen later on that night, tripped, and her knee landed like a javelin directly on the bum foot. The beasts were playing around and fighting and they ran into Hannah who was sent catapulting across the room and landing, you guessed it, on my foot. I was trying to hobble between my bed and the wall last night to get up to go to the bathroom and slammed the foot directly into the bottom of the footboard. And then finally, the last injury of the night came when I was trying to get back up the stairs. I went to take a step with the foot and jammed it on the stair, thus causing me to fall up the stairs.
I should have known that bad times were coming with this thing. Especially considering that the moment I came out of the anesthesia, the nurse came bounding into the room and proceeded to run directly into my foot. The big white bandaged thing that was hanging off the edge of the bed. No idea how she missed seeing it.
So, you and I both know that all of these injuries to the bum foot are far from over. I just hope that they will space themselves out enough to allow it to actually heal in time for spring.
Or summer. Or…ah, forget it.