Indiana Blogger, 34, Dead of Broken Heart

I need to document this day.  The day I have been dreading for 7 years now.  The day my daughter is officially too cool to hold my hand walking into school.  I literally heard my heart breaking in two!

We were walking in to school today and I grabbed her hand, as I always do.  Just walking along chatting with her.  Not noticing at first that her little hand was trying to break free of mine.  She didn’t come out and say “Don’t hold my hand, Mama.”  No, she’s too considerate for that.  Just the slightest little pull away of her hand from mine.

Now, I could have started wailing loudly right there in front of the school.  I wanted to.  I wanted to throw myself down on the ground, kicking and screaming, “NO!  Not yet!  I want more time!!!!”

But I didn’t do any of that.  I might have faltered just a little in my step.  But then I looked at her and winked.  I get it honey, it’s okay. Deep breath and we proceeded to walk into the school.

So here it is.  November 3, 2009.  The day my heart was broken.

Well all I can say is poor Hannah!  I’m probably going to be smothering her to death for the next 2 years of her life!  😉




7 thoughts on “Indiana Blogger, 34, Dead of Broken Heart

  1. Christy November 3, 2009 at 4:16 pm Reply

    you made me start to cry…your blog isn’t supposed to do that to me!! I remember when my Hannah was in first grade and I always insisted on walking her all the way into her classroom and to her desk. She told me time and time again, “Really Mama, you only need to walk me to the school door…no other moms go all the way in with their kids!”. I didn’t have the heart to stop doing that!!

    Your wink and a smile is what got me in your story!! It was breaking your heart inside but you were doing what was important to her and you wanted her to think you were fine with that (even though you weren’)….. O.k…I’m going to go and get a kleenex now!!

    • klutzymama November 3, 2009 at 6:36 pm Reply

      I know Christy! I was fighting back tears all the way home from school. Then I called my sister to try and make it better, but when I was talking about it to her, it was worse! I just wanted to burst out into the ugly cry right then and there and if Nanner hadn’t been in the car with me, I probably would have!

  2. Fencepost November 3, 2009 at 6:47 pm Reply

    Yep, I remember those days!
    Been there three times. And teared up EVERY time.
    Wait till they don’t want you touch them period.
    My youngest is there now and it’s KILLING ME!!!
    Thank goodness my little dog doesn’t mind being SMOTHERED.

    • klutzymama November 3, 2009 at 6:49 pm Reply

      so true, becky…i guess i will always have the dogs to turn to!

  3. Gretchen November 4, 2009 at 3:07 am Reply

    Well, now I must have more children so this won’t happen for several years to come. I will immediately stop complaining when all three of my children are sitting on my lap at the same time. I wanted to cry too. You are such a good momma to not let her see how it affected you and to allow her to grow. I think I would have cried all the way home.

  4. Lillian November 4, 2009 at 3:45 pm Reply

    Awww, that is sweet. Emma is to the point that she wants her hug and kiss before the bus gets to the stop. She says “hurry mommy before the bus gets here, I don’t want the kids to see”. But at least she still loves to get those hugs n kisses as long as they are in private.

  5. Kristi Smith November 8, 2009 at 5:48 pm Reply

    awww. 😦

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