I did something today that I swore I would never do…
I. Closed. The. Kitchen.
No! Say it ain’t so! But alas, it is so!
Some of you may remember, what is now known as “The Incident”, several years ago when Aunt T had the audacity to Close The Kitchen at Mamaw’s house. I remember that traumatic day like it was only yesterday. It was Christmas, I believe. I was 10 years old. There were millions of kids running around and screaming in Mamaw’s teeny little house and Aunt T made a loud announcement (in a voice that was very frightening and so unlike her usual “Snow White” tone) “The kitchen is closed! All children must exit the kitchen immediately!”
What? What?! What did she say?! She has closed the kitchen?? She can’t do that! She has no right!
Oh but she did, friends. She closed it and she closed it good.
I’ve never gotten over it and I vowed that someday when I became a grown-up, that I would never do such an evil thing to the children of the world. I mean a kitchen is a place of wonder and nutrional enlightenment for children.
All that changed today, folks.
I was kind of in a hurry. I had to get lunch fixed and then Katie off to school and I had two little heathens under my feet in the kitchen. Every time I turned around, I was stepping on / knocking one of them down. Well, I snapped. And I announced in a loud, frightening voice – much like that evil one that T used all those years ago – that “THE KITCHEN IS CLOSED! GET OUT AND GET OUT NOW!”
I’m so sorry, children. I’m sorry that your mama has succumbed to the evil throes of adulthood!
side note: I feel it necessary to explain, for anyone who doesn’t know Aunt T, that she really isn’t evil. She’s actually one of the sweetest people on Earth. Except for the day that she wasn’t.