I’ve Sunk To A New Low!

I did something today that I swore I would never do…

I. Closed. The. Kitchen.

No! Say it ain’t so! But alas, it is so!

Some of you may remember, what is now known as “The Incident”, several years ago when Aunt T had the audacity to Close The Kitchen at Mamaw’s house. I remember that traumatic day like it was only yesterday. It was Christmas, I believe. I was 10 years old. There were millions of kids running around and screaming in Mamaw’s teeny little house and Aunt T made a loud announcement (in a voice that was very frightening and so unlike her usual “Snow White” tone) “The kitchen is closed! All children must exit the kitchen immediately!”

What? What?! What did she say?! She has closed the kitchen?? She can’t do that! She has no right!

Oh but she did, friends. She closed it and she closed it good.

I’ve never gotten over it and I vowed that someday when I became a grown-up, that I would never do such an evil thing to the children of the world. I mean a kitchen is a place of wonder and nutrional enlightenment for children.

All that changed today, folks.

I was kind of in a hurry. I had to get lunch fixed and then Katie off to school and I had two little heathens under my feet in the kitchen. Every time I turned around, I was stepping on / knocking one of them down. Well, I snapped. And I announced in a loud, frightening voice – much like that evil one that T used all those years ago – that “THE KITCHEN IS CLOSED! GET OUT AND GET OUT NOW!”

I’m so sorry, children. I’m sorry that your mama has succumbed to the evil throes of adulthood!

side note: I feel it necessary to explain, for anyone who doesn’t know Aunt T, that she really isn’t evil. She’s actually one of the sweetest people on Earth. Except for the day that she wasn’t.


8 thoughts on “I’ve Sunk To A New Low!

  1. Gretchen May 21, 2008 at 2:32 am Reply

    I so remember the day the kitchen was closed. It will forever be etched in my memory as well. I have not yet closed my kitchen, but I want to most everyday!

  2. Little Sister May 21, 2008 at 12:24 pm Reply

    I too remember that awful day! I am scarred for life. But I have closed my kitchen many times and I must say it is a wonderful power to have! Just wait Gretch, your day is comin’. Just wait til those little precious feet you have around your house become big and hungry feet. There will come a day when they will be running around under you and you too will snap. LOL!! =-)
    I am dying to hear JuJu’s take on this tragic event from our childhood!

  3. Kristi Smith May 21, 2008 at 1:41 pm Reply

    I have never had to close the kitchen. Guess I am not as evil as you and Aunt T. lol

  4. auntju May 21, 2008 at 3:51 pm Reply

    Well girls, all I can remember is the terror on your faces as you scampered out of the kitchen! And I believe I told Aunt T just how shocked I was that the person whose sneezed so demurely (uh-too), was the same person whose head spun around and spewed such venom at the sweet little angels that you were! (Probably I was most concerned that the kitchen TRULY was closed and I’d be getting no more food for the day…)

  5. klutzymama May 21, 2008 at 4:20 pm Reply

    Haaaa haa! Hee Hoo Ha! So true, Ju!

  6. littlesister999 May 22, 2008 at 2:02 pm Reply

    That is hilarious! Poor Julie, we totally took over HER room everytime we were there! Man I never really thought about it before but WE (the precious angels) just showed up and took over. She went from Baby to BAM….Babysitter! Amee, then Gretchen, then me and then Little Randy! She didn’t really have much time to be the Baby huh?!! She is so lucky to have had all of us to love and play with! We were so sweet! Love ya JuJu!

  7. auntju May 22, 2008 at 3:28 pm Reply

    Finally! Tana has stumbled upon one of her greatest epiphanies! You little heathens did take over my life and my room and my fabulous collections of stuffed animals and teeny tiny glass animals and my records and everything that ever was mine became yours! But I’m not bitter. Really. I’m not. I would not trade the joy of you little brats following me around for anything, except maybe some new tires and a new radio for my Jeep. Nothing else though, seriously, you both rock.

  8. littlesister999 May 22, 2008 at 8:40 pm Reply

    HAHAHA!! You are so funny, I see where I get my hilarious sense of humor from!!

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