Klutzy Mama on a Bike

Today I did lots of yard work. I got my Gladiola bulbs planted around our propane tank and decided that I wanted to make a rock border around it so that when Brian goes to weed eat, he won’t chop my flowers down (as he’s been known to do on NUMEROUS occasions in the past!). So, I decided to ride my bike down to Ju’s and get this awesome little tool that she has that’s really good at edging and such. Now, first I must tell you that being the Klutzy Mama that I am, me & bikes don’t really get along so well. I love my bike, I love riding it, it’s just that I’m really clumsy and I wreck often. I wreck A LOT. And don’t even get me started on what happens when I get too close to the edge of the road, you know where the road meets the grass…I start freaking out and yelling “I’M WRECKING! I’M WRECKING!” If you’ve ever, ever, ever been bike riding with me, then you’ve heard me yell those words. I guarantee it. Anyway, I decided to take the back way to Ju’s. The alley behind our house runs all the way down to her house, so it’s a straight shot and it’s an alley, which means less people around to see me wreck or hear me screaming. Here’s where I made my first mistake. our alley runs down a kinda steep hill and then up another one, so as I was taking off, I tried to ride down the hill one handed so I could wave to Hannah and Brian as I was leaving. Well, there are a bunch of deep ruts in the gravel from where a car got stuck trying to get up the hill this winter, so you can imagine what happened when I hit those ruts with only one hand. It’s hard enough for me to ride on gravel, let alone going down a steep hill with deep ruts! However, I was able to recover (all the while screaming “I’m wrecking! I’m wrecking!”) and I made my way on to Ju’s. The only other problem on the way was that a car started to come down the alley toward me. So, one of us had to get out of the way and since I was on a measly bike and she was in a huge suburban, I had to go, so I edged ever so carefully over to the side of the alley and then of course I ended up screaming to no one in particular “I’m wrecking! I’m wrecking!” I’m sure that lady was bewildered, but then I get the feeling that lots of people that I encounter on a daily basis are left feeling bewildered. So, I get to Ju’s only to discover that the tool I desire is not in her garage. We looked everywhere and then deduced that I probably still had the tool since I borrowed it from her last summer. And I tell ya folks, it’s probably a good thing that she didn’t have the tool, cuz how was I ever gonna get that thing home without wrecking? It’s just like a shovel, almost, same size and weight and everything. I should probably mention here that Ju tried to get me to take a carton of eggs with me. She SAID it was because she would never use them and I know that she knows that I love me some eggs every day, however, I think that we all know why she wanted me to take those eggs. You see, she has been on several bike rides with me and she has witnessed firsthand the freak show that is me on a bike. So, I’m not buying that she just REALLY wanted me to have those eggs. No people, she wanted to sabotage me! But I am too smart for her, oh yes! I refused the eggs and opted instead for a Big Red for the ride home. Turns out that the Big Red wasn’t my best judgement call either. I was okay until I got back to where the alley at my house started to run down hill. I had 2 choices. I could either try to make it back down the hill with one hand,or I could use both hands and try to control the Big Red.  Seeing as how I had already tried and failed at the one-hander earlier, I decided to use my Big Red hand to try and maneuver down the hill. Well, I made it down the hill in one piece and I didn’t wreck, even though I was screaming that I was wrecking all the way down, however, once I got to the bottom, I was COVERED in Big Red. Big Red on my arms. Big Red on my legs. Some even splashed up onto my face. It’s all good though, not a soul saw me, but basically at this point in my life, I’m so used to embarrassing myself in front of people that it really wouldn’t have mattered if anyone saw or not…I’m just thankful that today I stayed upright on my bike! That is quite an accomplishment for me! Oh and when I got back in one piece, I promptly walked into the garage and found that awesome tool that I still had from when I borrowed it from Ju last summer. 🙂

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8 thoughts on “Klutzy Mama on a Bike

  1. Little Sister April 18, 2008 at 1:46 pm Reply

    I would like to say that I too have seen her in action on a bike! Quite comical!! Her 6 year old daughter could ride a bike better than her! I would also like to say that if you do ride with her beware! Because if you happen to be in her way when she needs to get to the side of the road to let a car pass you will become part of her wreck! She becomes an out of control maniac on 2 wheels! Very dangerous!

  2. klutzymama April 18, 2008 at 1:53 pm Reply

    Your comment made me laugh right out loud, because it is so true! Remember that time I wrecked us both over in Goshen Meadows because of that durned side-of-the-road thing?!

  3. Little Sister April 18, 2008 at 2:16 pm Reply

    I know that is exactly what I was thinking of when I read your blog! TOO FUNNY!! The bike riding skills must run in the family. Remeber when I rode right into that tree at Aunt T’s house?? Of course I was like 7! You just never out grew it!! LOL=-)

  4. Ju April 18, 2008 at 2:19 pm Reply

    What’s even worse is when she swerves at you because she fears the impending doom of the edge of the road, an oncoming car, or a blowing leaf, and then when you’ve been totally unnerved and almost flattened by said oncoming car, she yells out “your fault!”

    Which begs the question…why do we ride with her???

  5. klutzymama April 18, 2008 at 2:28 pm Reply

    Ha ha…blowing leaf. I like that. I totally forgot about “Your fault!” 🙂
    So, who’s up for a bike ride tonight? Anyone? No? Okay, your loss!

  6. Little Sister April 18, 2008 at 8:42 pm Reply

    Why do we ride with her? well I guess it is because we love her company, her fun loving, energetic spirit, her ability to make us laugh at any given moment…..YEAH RIGHT!! Probably becuase we fear her wrath if we dare say no!! 😉 I LOVE YOU SISTER! no but really I fear her!

  7. Little Sister April 18, 2008 at 8:44 pm Reply

    I just noticed the picture at the top! Her skirt is stuck on her seat!! LOL!! cracked me up!

  8. klutzymama April 18, 2008 at 8:44 pm Reply

    HA! HA! AGAIN laughing right out loud on your comment!

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